The isolation hits at irregular hours, reaching out for the leash that is no longer needed, to listen for paws that will never again thunder on the kitchen floor. Pet bereavement is a profound, sincere sorrow that needs to be recognized and respected. Our pets are members of our family, and when we lose a family member, it can be heartbreaking; yet society often treats this loss as less serious than it truly is.
Understanding that your pain is valid and creating healthy means of coping with your emotions can help you honor your beloved friend while initiating the healing process. Grieving pet loss isn’t timed, and there’s no “right” method for mourning the passing of a beloved fur family member who brought unconditional love into your life.
Understanding the Unique Nature of Pet Loss
Pet loss counseling professionals realize that the passing of a pet generates a one-of-a-kind form of sorrow different from human loss. Unlike human relationships, one with pets is affectionate but without the complexities sometimes found within human relationships. Their loss is therefore all the more unsettling, and silence much more engulfing.
Key aspects of pet bereavement are:
- Disenfranchised grief: when society does not recognize your mourning process
- Disrupted routine daily activities that were structured in line with your pet’s needs
- Guilt surrounding end-of-life decisions or perceived neglect
- Somatic symptoms of grief, such as changes in appetite, sleep disturbances, and lethargy
An overwhelming majority of pet owners report that they were shocked at how deep their grief was. Sarah, whose golden retriever Max died last year aged 14, reports: “I thought I was prepared, but the house felt bare. I kept expecting to catch sight of him in his favourite sunny spot by the window.” It is a completely natural reaction and indicates the importance of pets in our lives.
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Professional Resources and Support Networks
The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement offers free pet loss and grief counseling, including regular webinars and counseling resources. The AMC Pet Loss Support Program helps people process grief and heal through shared support of others who have lost a wonderful animal companion.
Available pet loss support materials are:
- Support groups for family pet loss provide a safe and non-judgmental place where family members can share and express their feelings and experiences
- Crisis Text Line (text “HOME” to 741741) for free 24/7 support with trained Crisis Counselors
- Guided meditations specifically designed for pet loss and remembering
- University veterinary programs for hotlines and counseling services
If you find yourself experiencing prolonged grief or undue depression, please seek a professional counselor or dial 988 for immediate needs. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
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Practical Strategies for Healing and Moving Forward
Grieving pet loss is both emotional and practical, adjusting to life without your companion. Children grieve differently from grown-ups, and their reaction and grieving process will be distinct from an adult’s, with varying support and explanation necessary at every child’s age.
Healthy coping strategies include:
- Creating memorial rituals like photo albums, memory books, or donation campaigns
- Maintaining routines and gradually modifying pet-centered activities
- Allowing yourself to mourn without self-censorship or skimping on the process
- Reflecting on when you would be prepared for another pet (no time frame will work for everyone)
For others, there is comfort in volunteering for animal shelters or giving in honor of their pet, transmuting grief into constructive effort, honoring their friend’s memory.
Pet bereavement is a reflection of the love you shared with your pet, not to be minimized or rushed through. Pet bereavement support exists because this loss is genuine and deserves compassion. Whatever heals you, whether it is support groups, counseling, or personal rituals, understand that honoring your grief honors the irreplaceable bond you shared with your pet.
Your pet’s love remains with you even as you navigate through this difficult journey. If you are in the grip of pet loss, reach out to veterinary grief counselors, attend support groups, or text crisis lines; you do not need to do this alone.
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